


Retreat

by dacmennis



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Autofellatio, Drug Use, M/M, MacDennis - Freeform, Mostly Pwp, Valentine's Day, filthy sex, piledriving, shameless sex fic is all it is really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 13:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6006976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dacmennis/pseuds/dacmennis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy Valentine's Day from myself and these two losers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Retreat

"I already told you, Mac. There's nothing wrong with two grown men indulging in the pleasures of a weekend of pampering at a pristine ski resort high in the mountains."  


"Dennis, you booked it on Valentine's Day weekend, of all times? What are you trying to say?"  


"You gotta take advantage of the holiday package deals, dude. Two nights for the price of one, plus full amenities, 24-hour room service, free ski rental, the whole shebang, for one flat rate of five hundo."  


"Where did you get five hundred dollars? That's almost a month's rent."  


"Bro, if you don't think I have Frank's credit card information memorized by now, you're just fuckin' stupid." Pleased with every item neatly packed in order, Dennis snapped his small suitcase shut and gave Mac the once-over. "Are you all packed and ready to go? We need to leave in a half hour to check in as early as we can."  


Mac eyed the brochure in Dennis's hands and swallowed nervously. Dennis was up to something, he could tell by the way his eyes crinkled slyly at the outer corners, but Mac pushed the thought away, or yielded to the notion that whatever was in store for him would be that of enjoyment and de-stressing instead of a life-threatening situation or emergency room visit.  


"You sure your ankles will hold up okay on the slopes?" Mac teased, remembering the spill Dennis took down the mountain only a few months prior.  


"Shut up; there are plenty more things to do up there than ski with a bunch of overzealous plebeian rats. I've made sure of it."  


"Alright, dude, whatever you say. I'll go pack right now, I only have like three things I'm bringing anyway." Mac left the room and Dennis turned toward the mirror in Dee's bedroom, smiling to himself. Sure, it wasn't exactly a coincidence that Dennis had made plans on Valentine's Day weekend with Mac. He couldn't help himself. Dee's apartment afforded no privacy whatsoever, and Dennis had only recently begun to spin the chamber and play Russian roulette with Mac, "mistakenly" walking in on him in the shower and "accidentally" pressing his hard dick against Mac's ass when they slept next to each other after the hammock broke. Dennis chuckled at the realization that he'd successfully DENNISed Mac dozens of times over the years, it was just so damn easy to work him, but one small thing has never quite come to fruition - the tricky E of the plan, and with Dennis's sexual appetite at an all-time high during his latest dry spell, _someone was going to get off in ways they've never imagined this weekend,_ he thought. _Be it him or me. And oh, it's gonna be me._  


\---

The first full day at the cabin was both fun and relaxing, the pair trying their hands (or feet, rather) at snowboarding instead of skiing, which suited Dennis much better than clumsy skis. Mac was relieved that neither of the two crash-landed or broke any bones, and though Mac attempted to seek out the crazy party houses high up on the mountain, Dennis managed to derail him with detailed reminders of the fact that one of them nearly always brushes death when they involve themselves in such affairs. Dennis was always so snobbish when it came to his plans, he never wanted anyone to wander outside the periphery and invite the potential of harm and foul. Nothing set Dennis off like foiling his plans did.  


And so Mac went along, a bit begrudgingly at times to activities such as the spa, soaking in a thick mud bath and finishing with hot stone massages, fluffy white robes, and paraffin wax hand treatments. Though Dennis seemed to be choking back laughter at each turn, Mac just rolled his eyes and went along with the feminine activities, whining to hit the slopes again when he grew bored and restless. After the spa - which actually did strip away the layers of stress of the last few weeks, Mac admitted to himself - the pair enjoyed a lush steak and sushi dinner and paced themselves on drinks, not wanting to get too wasted.  


\---

The two arrived back at their room shortly after dark around seven-thirty. Generously-sized but cozy and plush enough for a couple, the cabin room boasted an en suite hot tub and King-sized bed; Dennis opted out of the honeymoon suite with the heart-shaped furniture -- overkill, he told himself. Too obvious.  


"Man, I'll tell ya, as relaxing as that spa day was, I'm ready to take a dip in this thing, what do you say, my man?" Dennis glanced across the room where Mac was sprawled out across the bed, flipping through the TV channels lazily.  


"Uh, pass, dude," Mac answered suspiciously. He sat up and squinted across the room at Dennis, who'd begun to fill the hot tub and light a few candles that he'd brought along in his suitcase, resting those and other concealed items with a clatter alongside the pristine white tile of the tub's ledge.  


"Get your ass over here," Dennis plied. "I didn't book this room for us to sit around and watch the tube. We're taking full advantage of the amenities that we paid for."  


"That Frank paid for," Mac corrected, not moving from the bed. He was wary of Dennis's motives, though after a decade of watching the man calculate every move he made, he should have been used to the fact that Dennis planned everything for a reason, and the twinkle in his friend's eye couldn't be hidden as Mac resigned and sauntered over to the tub. "Dude. Are the candles really necessary? They seem kind of..."  


"Aesthetics," Dennis replied, flipping the lights off and the room dimmed to a golden low light. Dennis exhaled contentedly and stepped out of his robe, revealing his slightly toned body clad only in a tight-fitting pair of boxer-briefs. He ran his hands conspicuously down his sides, slipping his fingers teasingly below the waistline of his underwear, eyeing his counterpart coyly.  


"Don't get naked around me," Mac warned, though not because he was squeamish, oh no. He knew what Dennis was doing, he had caught on by now. His eyes lingered over the parts of Dennis's body that he liked best; even though Dennis wasn't musclebound whatsoever, Mac began to turn on to his friend's hairy chest and tight thighs. Dennis felt Mac's eyes admiring him and the familiar strain of pleasure danced through his veins.  


"Fine, dick. I'll change into my suit. You too," Dennis stepped into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later in his swim trunks. Mac had done the same in the room, and before long, the hot tub was filled to the brim and ready to welcome their bodies.  


"Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about," Dennis sighed as he lowered his body into the hot water, engaging the jets and whipping the water into a splashing frenzy. He sat down facing Mac, his friend staring dumbly across the expanse of the water, struggling to retain his composure because Dennis looked too damn fine in this setting.  


Dennis always knew what Mac was thinking. He was just too obvious, too animated and expressive to ever keep his thoughts masked. "Come over here," Dennis offered, gesturing to the empty space next to him. "Let's relax and just chill."  


"Dennis..." Mac protested, but Dennis reached behind him and procured a wooden dugout and green lighter, grinding the bat into the box and bringing the wooden cylinder up to his lips. "Come on, don't be a total drag. Things are different on the mountain, as the tired cliché goes. Get high with me."  


Dennis sparked the lighted and dragged deeply on the pinch hitter, coughing a few times before hitting it again. Mac couldn't deny that he loved to smoke weed and it'd been awhile, besides, the warm buzz of being high always took Dennis down a few notches, a version of the man that he got along with much better. He crossed the warm water and came to rest next to his best friend, the comforting skunky scent of weed filling the air.  


"Mmmm," Mac hummed as he dragged on the pinchie, a tearing sensation rawing his throat. He held the hit in for a few seconds before exhaling with a deep cough.  


"That's more like it," Dennis approved. The two sat smoking until the dugout was cashed, and Dennis stretched his arms out behind his friend, fingers curling absently at Mac's shoulder. The warm water churned around them and they were encapsulated in their own private sea, stoned and pleasant.  


"What did you say, dude?" Mac asked and looked up at his friend, an echo of his voice haunting his ears.  


"I didn't say anything," Dennis replied, but used the opportunity to squeeze Mac's shoulder and let his fingers roam along the sensuously ticklish back of his arm.  


Mac felt his body go lax and succumb to Dennis's touch, resting his head on his friend's shoulder and relishing in the doubly relaxing indulgence of being high and the warm water bubbling around them. He could have stayed like that forever, but Dennis had begun lazily trailing his fingers upward to stroke Mac's neck and behind his ear, igniting these sensitive areas and Mac pressed his face into Dennis's chest, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of skin on skin. Dennis was so touchy-feely when he was high, and it'd led so close to pushing Mac over the edge before, but he'd never allowed himself to step over that boundary, not yet. This time, he reached up and fanned his fingers over Dennis's chest, toying with the hair that he loved so much, it's rougher texture a perfect contrast to the smooth skin underneath. Being high with Dennis was so much better than anything else, it changed them into quiet beings who sat and enjoyed the silence.  


Mac had nearly fallen asleep in the tub when he felt lips on his neck, almost dreamlike in their ambiguous touch, but he opened his eyes to find Dennis's hair in his face. Mac inhaled the scent of his woodsy shampoo and tipped his head backward against the cool tile of the tub's ledge. His head swam with contradicting thoughts of how wrong this probably was, but he'd truly been battling with letting all of his convictions go and just giving in lately, taking the lead from Dennis who seemed to have no qualms whatsoever about his own sexuality. Dennis trailed wet kisses all over Mac's neck and throat, pausing at his collarbones to gnaw on them. Mac began to tremble a bit, thankful the roiling water obscured his nervousness. He felt Dennis's lips slide up his neck again and a hand at the back of his head, pushing Mac into a gentle kiss, a little deeper with each second and Mac leaned into it, resigning his convocations and running with the devilish pleasure that Dennis was sure to afford him.  


"You okay?" Dennis asked as he pulled away, steely blue eyes hooded and sunken, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.  


"Yeah, keep going," Mac urged and Dennis went in again, straddling Mac's lap and raking his hands through his dark brown hair, mussing it up and massaging the back of his neck. Mac's entire body lit with a euphoric sensation, like being wrapped up in a hundred warm blankets, dizzyingly comforted and yet still so sexually charged, his lust for Dennis growing surely every minute. Dennis laughed against Mac's lips as he kissed deeper still, sucking on his friend's tongue and grabbing his hips, grinding the two of them together under the waves of the tub, Mac moaning helplessly into Dennis's open mouth. The heat of their tongues wrestling dragged Mac through the undertow, body moving in slow-motion as he felt the liquid touch of hands on his hips, his swim trunks being slid down and cast aside, skillful fingertips stroking his thighs up and down, indistinguishable from the balmy water.  


"God, you're so hot, baby," Dennis sighed into Mac's ear, pressing their bodies together among the currents, naked himself now, savoring the almost unbearable lovesickness in Mac's half-lidded eyes. He hooked his arms underneath his friend and clutched him into a strangling embrace, bowing his head into Mac's shoulder. "I want you so bad I can taste it," Dennis admitted, licking his tongue down the salty skin of Mac's neck again.  


"Let's go," Mac obliged, unable to handle another second of the aching torture their bodies felt. "Fuck me on the bed," he commanded, sobering Dennis with the reality of the proposal.  


"You sure?" Not that Dennis had ever cared to make sure anyone else was sure, but Mac was indispensable to him.  


"Mmm-hmm," Mac nodded, pulling Dennis into a deep kiss before hoisting himself up and grabbing his friend's hand. "Come on, take me," he pleaded, Dennis immobile with the shocking intensity of the impending session.  


The pair were unable to keep their hands off each other as they futilely dried off, certain they'd be soaked with each other's bodily fluids in only a matter of time. Dennis laid Mac back on the gigantic bed and fumbled for the bottle of lube he'd left in the nightstand drawer -- just in case. Mac tipped his head back and breathed deeply, willing his body to relax and just go with it as he'd done to himself so many times before, and closed his eyes as he felt Dennis's long fingers inside him, slicked with lube and shaking a bit as they loosened him, unsure of how deep he should go.  


Mac bore down on Dennis's fingers and licked his lips wantonly, clenching tight around his friend, unsatisfied. "Give me more, and give it to me deeper," Mac instructed, and Dennis felt a disgustingly torturous shiver run down the front of his body, terminating through the length of his own bulging cock. Carefully, he slipped in a third finger and Mac cried out satisfied, bearing down and easing back up, fucking himself on Dennis's hand. He raised one leg far behind him and hooked his foot around the pole of the ornate headboard for leverage, luxuriating in the intense vibes humming throughout his worked-up body. Dennis gasped, as he'd figured that Mac would have to be taught what to do, or would just lay there and take it. "You ready for me?"  


"Do it," Mac sighed and Dennis entered slowly, but Mac was aroused and harder than he'd ever been in his life. He quickly impaled himself on Dennis's hot cock and took it to the hilt, grinding down on it and pulling Dennis in by his hips, shaking slightly at the magnitude of what they were doing, a scene Mac had always imagined but only found the courage to masturbate furiously to before. The heat of full penetration stung fiercely but it was so much better than anything anticipated, his heart melting like molten aluminum against the familiar touch of his lover.  


"How are you so flexible and like, just fucking able to do this?!" Dennis cried, allowing Mac to fuck himself slowly but deeply, hands shaking through his friend's hair, unable to believe the scene unfolding as intensely as it was.  


"Flexibility is from yoga that I secretly do when you're not around. Makes me light and agile. And well, the ability to take a cock is from shoving dildos up my ass for months now."  


"Oh, I'm sorry -- I thought that sodomizing yourself was high up on your list of carnal sins, was it not?"  


"Repentance, dude. It works like a charm to scrub the soul clean," Mac winked and smiled mischievously with one side of his mouth.  


"I didn't know you owned any sex toys."  


"I don't. But your sister does."  


"That is fucking disgusting."  


"I clean them off. Sometimes."  


Dennis turned the conversation off and built up a steady pace, fire coursing through his limbs, slowly at first but Mac seemed almost disturbingly acclimated to being stuffed full. Dennis held Mac by the ankles and leaned back on his knees, working faster, admiring the way his friend's wet hair clung to his forehead and eyes glassy and red-rimmed from the lingering high.  


“Ughhh, fuck me, Daddy,” Mac panted nearly inaudibly, but Dennis heard it loud and clear and with that admission he went weak, a skin-crawling flush of lust running deep through the course of his nerves. Dennis semi-collapsed and laid his head onto Mac’s chest, keeping up their rhythmic fucking, but desperate with maddening urgency to immerse himself into his lover with more than just sex. He wanted to meld the two of them into one person, to show Mac however possible that he was capable of more than rage and biting remarks and self-worship, more than the ridiculous god complex, but he simply couldn't translate his feelings.  


"Happy. Valentine's. Day. Mac. I. Love. You," Dennis punctuated each word with a rough stroke, sweat dripping into his eyes, ferocious.  


"I love you, too," Mac sighed breathlessly, pulling Dennis down for another kiss, his sexual appetite insatiable after the first taste.  


"Wait, stop, hold still," Dennis commanded, hoisting himself up on his elbows and slipping out of Mac's tight ass, prompting an unsatisfied whine from his friend's mouth. "Wait," Dennis said and skillfully maneuvered Mac into a piledriver position, wincing with torturous pleasure when Mac slid his legs easily behind his head.  


"Like this?" Mac gasped, legs locking behind his neck, hooking his toes together for added support. His body was doubled back like an accordion. "It's kinda hard to breathe-"  


"Mmmm, I know, now suck your cock for me, baby," Dennis hissed, pausing to push Mac's rock-hard erection toward his waiting lips. "I know you like the taste."  


Mac nodded uncertainly but obediently and, carefully balancing his weight on his shoulders, licked his lips and tongued the head of his dick, eyes fluttering closed to concentrate on the insanely pleasurable fucking Dennis started up with again. Dennis shuddered in delight at the sight of his best friend bent up and gagging himself with his own thick cock, dark pink lips wrapped around the lengthy shaft, only able to go a couple of inches but the visual drove Dennis batshit crazy with lust, and he shifted his weight to assist Mac with his sucking. "That's it, baby, take yourself just like that, take me just like that," Dennis crooned, fingers of one hand sliding up and down the remainder of Mac's shaft, keeping the balance of their position with the other. Dennis laughed wickedly as Mac wrapped his fingers around Dennis's and the two stroked his cock mercilessly, slicked with that extra-slippery saliva that comes with a blowjob. The two of them locked eyes, Dennis amazed and giddy with lust, an erotic simmering deep within his body threatening to reach a boiling point at any minute; Mac's deep brown eyes overcome with the contrasting sensations of getting his ass hammered and his own tongue grinding roughly into the head of his dick, grazing his teeth across the smooth, tight skin. Dennis panted like he'd been running a marathon for hours, unable to believe that he was involved hottest sexual experience of his entire life with his best friend, a man he'd always pegged as probably weak and unskilled in the sack. The fact that Mac could not only take a dick without any hesitation but fellate himself acrobatically sent shivers down Dennis's spine. Mac groaned and clamped his lips around his cock, working the pink skin in and out of his wet mouth, rubbing the nearly-bursting head sinfully against his pretty downturned lips, whining for more and more from his friend as his thighs began to shake and his abdomen contracted. Mac took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose steadily with his dick jammed in his mouth for the finale, clenching filthily around Dennis as he came hard, hot spurts of his own bittersweet come slipping down his throat, bobbing his head to take himself as deep as he could through the electric waves of the orgasm.  


"Holy fucking shit, baby," Dennis breathed, his cock seized in a chokehold by Mac's clenching insides, "You're so goddamn perfect, I never want to fuck anyone else ever again in my life," he railed, scalp tingling with the bristling heat of his impending orgasm. He watched as Mac popped off the head of his dick with a sickeningly lecherous smacking and took in a deep breath to catch himself. "Oh my goddddd, don't ever stop fucking me," Mac encouraged, spent from his own orgasm and legs aching with torture from their positions behind his head, but watching Dennis overcome with pleasure was worth the pain to him. 

Mac reached up and gripped Dennis's ass, raking his nails over the sensitive skin and digging into the flesh at the tops of his thighs. "Come deep inside me, daddy," Mac begged, and Dennis absolutely couldn't hold back for one second longer. Moaning primal, nearly screaming through his orgasm, he convulsed and came hard and deep into Mac's body, seeding him, territorial. Dennis had never before shaken with desire so powerfully that tears welled up in his eyes, but nothing had ever impacted him the same way fucking his blood brother had. Their eyes never left each other save for the reflexive clamping shut during the height of Dennis's forceful coming. Dennis swallowed, throat raw and unquenchable; his hands shook as he steadied the two of their bodies for the dismount. Mac's legs strained with a similar quivering as he unlocked them from behind his head, backs of his thighs burning with a sensual sting that he'd be sure to feel for weeks. He hoped the entire gang would notice him walking fucked up and tease him about getting fucked by Dennis just so he could languish in the memory of their sex while he lied through his teeth about being sore from running off some burglar from their cabin. Mac laughed at the thought of Dennis backing his story up, but knowing that his dick would grow obtrusively in his pants every time the images flashed into his mind, requiring Dennis to hide behind the bar while they explained the situation.  


But right now, all the pair wanted to do was sleep forever in the hushed quiet, nestled high up in the mountain range. Dennis rolled a joint from the remaning weed in his suitcase and the two of them smoked until they were all arms and legs and touching and kissing themselves to sleep in each other's arms.  



End file.
